3 Key Phrases Every English Language Learner Must Learn to Prevent Frustration and Facilitate Communication

By Daniella Mini

Everyone knows children are better than adults at learning a new language. This doesn’t mean, however, that they don’t experience frustration and confusion when they’re abruptly placed in an environment where they can’t communicate, such as when children from non-English speaking homes first begin school.

Here are three phrases I make sure to teach my preschool ELLs to help them along their journey to English proficiency.

“I don’t know.”

I had the sweetest student, Lucca, who came from a Russian-speaking home. For every topic or theme the class was exploring, I would select vocabulary to deliberately teach him. If, for instance, we were learning about whales, I would focus on the words fin, blowhole, teeth, baleen, humpback and beluga. 

When I showed him a picture and tried to elicit a word he didn’t know or remember, he would give me his sweet look and respond with something he did have words and mimicry for. Caterpillars being his obsession, he’d say what he knew about them: “I’m a caterpillar… Butterfly...” He would pretend to draw a caterpillar in the air, to crawl and fly. 

Being a smart little boy, Lucca had learned to change the subject, as it were, because people would always just go along and shift to his caterpillar topic.  “Robots” was another go-to subject for Lucca, and sometimes “caterpillar robots”.

I began to interrupt the diversionary topic and to tell Lucca, “You can say I don’t know,” while gesturing 🤷🏻‍♀️ so he would understand. He would repeat the phrase “I dunno know,” and then I would give him the words -“It’s a beluga,” for instance.

He caught on very quickly. I just loved the way he said  “I dunno know” with an adorable wide-eyed expression and the cutest shrug /arms up gesture.

“I need help,” and “I want (blank blank).”

When a child who can’t communicate needs help, they have various options. Some will try to problem solve. There’s the child who will climb on a chair to try to get the blue construction paper he wants, and the one who’ll fetch a pair of scissors to cut open a bag of Goldfish crackers. Others will gesture and point to show how you can help them.

Then there’s the option of going without the help needed: leaving the jacket unzipped, eating only what didn’t need opening, going thirsty when parents forgot to pack a water bottle, and having an accident when you wanted to go and couldn’t hold it until getting home.

Finally, there’s the child who will fall apart from sheer frustration, and will resort to crying, throwing things, flopping on the floor -you know, all those behaviors that clearly show how unhappy you are.

When a child’s in the middle of a tantrum, in general, it’s best not to scramble and show him all kinds of things until what’s wanted is figured out. Help the child calm down a bit first, then try to find out what she wants as you teach her to say, “I need help,” or “I want (blank blank).”

Whenever possible, a good strategy is to anticipate what a child wants or needs and elicit the phrase before helping him or giving it. Knowing how to ask for help is empowering.

A Basic Human Need

As adults, we react differently to being in a social environment where we don’t speak the language. Some of us will try to engage using all manner of body language, gestures and facial expressions. Some of us may just observe, while a few of us might mentally withdraw entirely -perhaps ponder the meaning of life or think about the time we beat our dad at chess.

Children use similar strategies, yet they are less adept at managing the frustration of not being able to communicate. It’s our responsibility as parents and educators to help them fulfill this basic human need.

Daniella Mini is an early childhood special education teacher and blogger. She writes about parenting and autism on her blog publicponder.com